I was extremely miffed to hear that the Americans get their own ‘dude’ to do the voiceover for BBC nature docs. How dare they! Who can beat Attenborough? Well either Attenborough but right now I’m specifically talking about David. Although Dickie is fabulous in 'Miracle on 34th Street.' I actually thought he was the Big Cheese himself. It was a real beard after all, that kid pulled it remember? Anyway, I digress. Some people believe in God, I believe in Attenborough, Dickie and Dave. Anyway back to David. David Attenborough is alone worth the BBC licence fee. That and BBC4 which is spectacular. BBC3 is a cultural wasteland and must be thwarted! Seriously, they have a new programme entitled ‘Hot Like Us’, a reality TV programme where ‘beautiful’ couples battle for the crown of most self indulgent parasite. A show made without any passion and craftsmanship. It is pond scum. And exhale. Fortunately Frozen Planet has graced the small screen making me gaga over nature once more. Just not Lady Gaga. She probably saw Frozen Planet Americano, narrated by Ryan Seacrest and thought she would use walrus flesh for shoulder pads for her new 80s inspired meat collection. Back to Frozen Planet. I am a self confessed wildlife freak. Seriously, I bloody love nature. I think this might be even better than Blue Planet and how can you top a panoramic view of a Blue Whale? You top trump it with sneaky criminal penguins stealing pebbles. People are easily amused. Hats off to the BBC cameramen who captured this wonderful footage. It’s so human in its pettiness, like a dispute between curmudgeonly neighbours over hedge heights. Fabulous.
The cinematography is stunning, the narration spot on but I have to say I have an issue. I am a big baby. I cry at anything. It is a serious handicap in my life. I can’t enter a pub without scanning for the horizon for a sad story. An old man alone with a pint. As my friends point out, he probably popped out for half an hour to get away from his nagging wife. But no I create my own back story and it’s always destitute. It frequently involves Meals on Wheels. Therefore I find Frozen Planet incredibly distressing. Those cruel orcas toying with that seal on the ice sheet. The look in its eyes when it was game over as they pulled it to its demise. Horrific. Seriously, it gave me nightmares. I know it’s the circle of life, and I am being shallow because quite frankly it is only the cute animals I am interested in but I hate it. However I will get over this aversion because this series is magnificent. I mean for one thing chivalry is not dead in the animal world. The elephant seals fight for their female every hour for three months! We’d be lucky with a gift voucher from Boots……..
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